July 21, 2012
fic: the story of us (chapter five) [parks and rec, high school AU]

And if this were a movie he would kiss her again right there, grabbing her hands and pinning them above her head against the lockers behind her, and she’d groan something into his mouth and kiss him back, intense, hot and sweet and perfect just like the first time and some awesome song would play and the camera would back away at the speed of their hearts until it faded into black-and-white. And it would be perfect. But Ben Wyatt’s life is not a movie, and instead he just fiddles with the zipper on his sweatshirt and says nothing.

Hey, so, there’s a new chapter up for this thing. I call it “The Sad Montage Part.” It gets better next time, I swear.

But for now, go read! Sorry it’s taken me so long to update this thing, I have eighty million other projects I’m working on. But I know how I want to finish this one, so we’ll see how it goes.

July 8, 2012
fic: war room (veep/parks and rec au crossover, r, 2571 words)

Seriously. It’s cold as balls. Amy’s pretty sure that if she had balls, they would be frozen completely off by this point. She’s aware this is history, blah blah blah, no one expected the two-woman ticket to be elected once, let alone twice, but after spending the past four years pretty much doing nothing, no one in their party is exactly feeling exalted to be here. They’re sitting around on the Capitol steps, which are packed to the fucking gills with spectators in “Knope We Can” gear, waving around signs and banners and shit, and their lips are all turning blue as they smile through Scotty McCreery warbling “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” accompanied by a cellist from the National Symphony Orchestra.

assorted scenes from the second term of the knope-meyer administration. contents include barracuda barkley, jonah-snarking, clean jobs headaches, universal health care, bruce springsteen, dick cakes, dick pics, and a cameo from everyone’s favorite snl political dude. yes we can’t not knope!

May 18, 2012
Oh, if anyone's interested, I updated my Parks high school AU fic the other day.

Leslie rolls her eyes. “Don’t even worry,” she says. “This whole night has just been one thing like that after another. Right before you got here, Jean-Ralphio’s date – her name’s Trixie or something, you know, that cheerleader? God knows where he found her. But anyway, she decided to start dancing on the ping-pong table because Jean-Ralphio was freestyling over a mix of ‘Turn My Swag On,’ and then the table broke and nobody wanted to help her up. Ann knows first aid, so she finally got her up and took her to the bathroom and I haven’t seen her since. I don’t think Donna is gonna let us ever have another party here.”

I know, it’s a silly use of my time, but hey, whatever keeps you productive, I say.

May 6, 2012
once upon a time in peacekeeper occupied panem (thg; ~3500 words)

“My name is Lt. Haymitch Abernathy, and I’m puttin’ together a special team, and I need me eight victors. Eight Career victors.”

AKA that Inglourious Basterds AU, because Mockingjay would’ve been better had it ended with President Snow getting blown up at the movies.

They said it couldn’t be done. But I did it. Because I’m kind of a fucking weird person.

Ugh just go read this thing it’s pretty ridiculous and I should be applying myself to the actual original YA novel I’m writing but that’s not fun.

March 25, 2012
fic: wondering if i've got a soul (the hunger games AU, clove, cato)

Their choices now: hunt, or hope for gifts. Hunting is a waste of time. Waiting for their sponsors to toss them a bone is unreliable – they could be waiting for days.

“Where are you going?” Cato asks, squinting at her as she heads off into the woods. She glances over her shoulder and laughs.

“I’m going to kill Katniss Everdeen.”

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