You didn’t hire me for my pecs and, if you did, you fucked up! You hired me for my slightly off-kilter freckly appearance.
It manages to be the most infuriatingly patronizing thing ever AND make me really fucking glad I made it out of there without a nicotine addiction and a teen pregnancy! It’s literally the worst thing I’ve read in ages, though — the writer totally fetishizes the salt-of-the-earth “country folks” who live there (he does everything but use the phrase “Real America”) as well as glossing over the fact that the west side of the entire city is super yuppie and wealthy, with excellent school districts, Bluth-style McMansions in developments called “Seven Oaks” and “Bridalveil Falls,” and giant golf courses full of Fox News-loving dads in khaki shorts who are only driving the Audi today because their wife took Aidan and Madison to school in the Hummer.
It is the worst place in the world. If you’re going to write about it, be accurate.
okay but imagine when seth meyers goes completely grey
adulthoodisokay THINK ABOUT IT.
ok well now i can’t...
- Was I supposed to blog something cool today or something?
holy SHIT i just discovered online glasses shopping i’m never paying for glasses from the eye doctor’s office again
if you shoplift for fun or shoplift to get fun retail shit you are objectively a bad person! bye!
- “I would like Martin Scorsese to be interested in a female character once in a while, but I don’t know if I’ll live that long.”