You didn’t hire me for my pecs and, if you did, you fucked up! You hired me for my slightly off-kilter freckly appearance.
It manages to be the most infuriatingly patronizing thing ever AND make me really fucking glad I made it out of there without a nicotine addiction and a teen pregnancy! It’s literally the worst thing I’ve read in ages, though — the writer totally fetishizes the salt-of-the-earth “country folks” who live there (he does everything but use the phrase “Real America”) as well as glossing over the fact that the west side of the entire city is super yuppie and wealthy, with excellent school districts, Bluth-style McMansions in developments called “Seven Oaks” and “Bridalveil Falls,” and giant golf courses full of Fox News-loving dads in khaki shorts who are only driving the Audi today because their wife took Aidan and Madison to school in the Hummer.
It is the worst place in the world. If you’re going to write about it, be accurate.
- Day 7 of Sober Lent, the threequel
Over the past week, I’ve been using all the time I would be out drinking to work like a madwoman on freewrites and...
The best part about every report of a “jaywalking crackdown” is how meatheaded the cops are about these things every single time. Like, if you told...
- Winning This Shit
I spent only $13 today (on breakfast, lunch, mid-day candy, bubble bath and a raspberry iced tea lemonade), took that damn fucking...
how much u wanna bet theres gonna be some kind of “boycott” of snl now
i dont even care that sketch was fucking hilarious
I think they’ll start filming Portlandia in 30 Rock so Fred never has to leave the building.